Friday, January 18, 2008

Happy Pills? Anyone?

GRARGGHGHHGHG...

Bf is sooo gna break up with me soon. Again.
I dont want to, but then i do. If we break up i wanna be the one doing the breaking up. Not him. Again.
The only way i keep him interested is by acting like im not. How fucked up.
He likes the chase.. like me. Im always chasing him.. Always.
Hes emotionally detached from everything.. its retarded.
Selfish and narcesistic. ARGH.
Im not a great gf myself, not that most people know, him certainly not.. the things i say to people lol.
If he was doing the same i'd be so annoyed.

Anyway.
One exam left.. took double dose of calming pills today they worked better.. but i was still stressed. Maybe 6 will work lol.

Spent the night in tonight.. coz i was asleep when everyone went out. Been a shit night.. all ive thought about is him, how hes out and didnt want to see me, all the shit hes said to me.. listening to songs about how men like him are cunts. Lol. If you met him you might think he was nice.. bit camp but nice. No hes not gay. But other people will say it too.. hes in stuff for himself if he dont want to do something. He wont. No comprimise. Hes lucky hes got a gf that lets him walk all over her.. if he started treatin some other girl like this she wud tell him to piss off. But he never used to be this bad. My 'friends' changed him. They all roll with the crowd and i tend to have my own opinion and do what i want. But hes weak i guess.

If anyone is reading this.. sorry for rambling about shiz.. lol. I hope its interesting. Bet its not though lol. It will be more interesting when i get happy. If, i get happy.

Oh and theyre doing chlaymedia tests on upper sixth form. How actualy retarded. I have a lesson clash with careers so i hope i dont have to do one. I dont have it, i know i dont. Its just retarded!

..Xx

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